By Eric Drumm
Greetings, gab addicts!
Last year the big Hollywood trends involved stealing adopting tots from far away lands and promoting small dogs as fashion accessories. Fortunately for us, this season mental disorders make for a chic lifestyle! Cape Chaser can tell you from experience that usually it's the bad guys that have a case of the crazies. For the Thunderbolts, being psycho works out perfectly!
We've got the latest intel on the latest depraved developments spinning out of Thunderbolts Mountain, home to the most prominent government-endorsed nutjobs on the planet…
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While most celebrities fight to stay out of prison, some unregistered superfolks get pinched on purpose! Our source from deep within Thunderbolts Mountain tells us that some weirdo named Mindwave—note the suspicious lack of hyphen—went willingly into
custody. He really amped up the crazy when he and his cronies launched a mental attack on the T-Bolts from the safety of their cells! How nuts can they be? Go to jail on purpose? Yeesh, those tights must be affecting their brains.
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You thought Britney was crazy? Well, Penance makes her look like a model citizen! Ugh, that outfit! Those spikes sure makes him unhuggable. Our snitch squealed that shrink to the supers Doc Samson has been having private sessions with the former New Warrior. Hmm, what could they be talking about? The fact that he deep fried 600 kids at Stamford, perhaps? That for sure will make you even crazier than divorcing an "aspiring" rapper.
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Let's remember that the T-Bolts consist of baddies forced into government service. Have Swordsman and Venom, how our wallflower reports have turned on their teammates showing their true colors or just being duped by Mindwave? So far, our
tipster can't tell. But it's hard to get a good look when trying to escape lightning swords and deadly jaws! Our guy slipped to us that Venom plunged himself into a people eating binge, and Swordsman fancies himself some royal Nazi while barricading himself in his room like an angry middle schooler. Uh, what? Could we be hearing this wrong? What a bunch of maniacs! That glorified loony bin called Thunderbolts Mountain might be craziest place in the world right now. Keep it classy!
Keep your finger on the refresh button for the first in hero gossip news, Cape Chaser!
THUNDERBOLTS #119 hits the stands on March 5, but you can check out plenty of T-Bolts tales at Marvel Digital Comics Unlimited.
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 "THUNDERBOLTS #119 cover by Marko Djurdjevic")
 "THUNDERBOLTS #119 interior art by Mike Deodato")
 "THUNDERBOLTS #119 interior art by Mike Deodato")
 "THUNDERBOLTS #119 interior art by Mike Deodato")
