‘She-Hulk’ Episode 4 — Jennifer Walters vs. Donny Blaze
What do you want to watch next, Wongers?
Behold, it’s Donny Blaze! He can levitate, shoot fire, and for his next trick he needs a volunteer. Madisynn (and yes, that’s with two N’s and one Y, but it’s not where you think) happily shoots her hand into the air (the hand that isn’t holding her drink) and joins Donny up on stage. But when the trick doesn’t go over well with the fading audience, Donny Blaze resorts to Plan B: Sorcery.
Pulling a sling ring out of his pocket, Donny opens up a portal. Madisynn’s take on this? “Ew.”
Meanwhile, over in Kamar-Taj, Wong is settling in to watch The Sopranos (he’s on Season 5, Episode 12, in case you’re wondering). With snacks by his side, he settles in when Madisynn appears out of nowhere. “What happened to all the goblins? Are you the Goblin King?” She asks the Sorcerer Supreme.
After asking Madisynn what happened, she explains that Donny Blaze sent her to a different “dimensh” (aka dimension) and a talking goat helped her escape a lava pit in exchange for six drops of her blood. And now she’s here! And that’s when Madisynn realizes what episode of The Sopranos Wong is on, and this one is so sad! This is the one where [ACTUAL SPOILER ALERT] they kill Adrianna!
“Donny Blaze is going to pay for this,” Wong says through gritted teeth.
“Ah, you look happy. I guess you saw that Wong is back,” Jen greets us, the viewers. “Everybody loves Wong! It’s like giving the show Twitter armor for a week.”
Jen’s dad, Morris, breezes into her apartment with a bag full of new things to help make her apartment more secure. He doesn’t like that his daughter was recently jumped in a parking lot, but Jen talks him down and out of this, considering that she’s a Hulk and can defend herself. Thanks anyway, dad.
At work, Jen scrolls through her to-do list landing on “complete dating profile.” Taking one last look at it, she declares it perfect, but her matches will be the judge. Nikki interrupts this, and breezes into the office complaining that Jen needs new clothes to fit her green body, but that’s interrupted when Wong portals in.
Wong is here to talk about Donny Blaze, the “magician,” and he’s using quotes because Donny Blaze is not a real magician. He was actually an apprentice at one point, but he was kicked out after a week after he summoned three kegs and his fraternity brother to Kamar-Taj. Ever since then he’s been using scared teaching in his shows to perform magic, and Wong has had ENOUGH.
For Jen, this should be pretty easy. Did Donny sign an NDA or a non-compete? Was there a contract when he began training? Did Wong get any of this in writing? Wong explains that new apprentices simply pledge their loyalty so…ok, maybe this is easier said than done.
Over at Legal Ease, Jen and Nikki sit at the bar going through the last of her case files, but Nikki is desperate to focus on Jen’s dating profile instead. Eventually, Nikki demands to see Jen’s Matcher profile, and she’s shocked. First off, Jen is using her corporate headshot as her profile? That’s a hard no. She begins swiping, because it’s all a numbers game. Seeing how grim Jen’s dating life actually is she poses a new question: what if Jen makes a profile for She-Hulk?
Save that one for later. Jen and Wong head to the Mystic Castle to tell Donny Blaze to stop doing what he’s doing. However, Cornelius Willows, the curiosity curator (it’s a thing) puts up a fight. Though Jen presents them with a cease and desist, they argue you can’t copyright art (you can) and Donny should stop doing this fake magic act (he won’t).
In court, Jen presents her case, and when the judge asks if there are any witnesses who can testify against Donny Blaze’s negligence of the mystic arts, Wong hesitates. But, he’s got to do it. So, once again, enter Madisynn! And she is so excited to see Wongers!
Taking a seat on the stand, Madisynn explains that first Donny Blaze gave her roses, and then pushed her into a fire land. The only reason she escaped is because she made a pact with a demon (which she cannot discuss) named Jake, and then Jake dropped her off at Wongers’ house and that’s how they became besties!
As for Madisynn’s emotional state during this, first, it was fun, then it was scary, then fun again, then spooky but in a fun way. According to Donny’s lawyer, that’s the sweet spot for a good magic show. Though Jen pushes for an injunction to stop Donny from performing while the judge reviews his case, she denies this. He can still do his little “magic” shows.
Whatever, this is boring, and Madisynn asks Wongers if they can get froyo? They can talk about The Sopranos some more.
Let’s circle back to Jen’s love life. It’s not going great. In fact, it’s going badly. She goes out on one date with one guy and it’s a trainwreck from start to finish — and she picks up the bill!! When Friday night rolls around, Nikki laments her for already being in her pajamas so early in the evening and Jen finally gives in. She makes a Matcher profile as She-Hulk. “I’m not proud of this,” she tells us. In like, 5 seconds, suddenly her phone is blowing up with new matches.
Time for some dates. In the words of Jen, “is there anything worse than dating in your 30s?” For starters, there’s one guy who is weirdly obsessed with how much she can lift (it’s a literal ton, thanks for asking), and another guy, Todd, is truly fascinated by her — but not in a good way. He calls Jen a “specimen” and she’s over it. Then there’s the one guy, Arthur, a hot doctor, who just wants Jen, er, She-Hulk, to talk about herself and she suggests splitting some fries…and taking them to go.
Meanwhile, across town, Donny Blaze is up to it again. He opens a portal and his willing participant is not so willing to go through it, claiming that he stranded one of her friends in a parking garage the week before. Ok, so let’s try something different. And that’s when things go off the rails. Instead of making a cute little bird appear, Donny makes a literal demon hatch. After opening up another portal, suddenly the theater is swarming with these little demons and not in a fun spooky way.
Realizing he needs help, Donny turns to Wong. (Wong, meanwhile, is in the middle of watching This Is Us, and Jack’s just died and clearly, Rebecca is going through it.) “Call my lawyer,” Wong snarls at Donny as he jumps through the portal himself to start slaying the demons.
MEANWHILE, Jen and Arthur are getting cozy at home and her phone will not stop vibrating. Wong, refusing to wait, portals in demanding that Jen help him out right now. So, off Jen goes to try to fight the demons, unsure of how she’s even supposed to be stopping them. “Be a Hulk!” Wong yells.
After some fancy maneuvering on both their parts, the two of them are able to capture all the demons and send them through a portal to their own dimension. Brandishing one last demon, Jen asks Donny if he’s willing to agree to the cease and desist, and seeing that demon, yeah, he agrees.
Ok, back to Jen’s date. One home, in one swift move, she picks Arthur up off the couch and carries him to the bedroom.
The next morning, Jen is busy making freshly squeezed orange juice when Nikki texts to check out the news. According to a news report, Titania has been cleared of all charges. Ugh, come on.
Arthur then appears in the living room, confused as to what’s going on. Where’s She-Hulk? Jen explains that she’s She-Hulk, but now she’s “just Jen.” Feeling a little weirded out, he excuses himself and leaves.
“Whatever, hot doctor’s a cliche anyway,” Jen mumbles to us.
There’s a knock at the door, and for a second Jen thinks he might have returned. Nope. Instead, she’s being served papers from Titania LLC. Surprise, Titania’s suing Jen for misuse of a trademark: She-Hulk.
“She’s suing me over the name She-Hulk? But that’s my name?” Jen wonders aloud before turning to us. “Kind of a bummer way to end this episode. I bet there’s a fun tag.”
THE FUN TAG:
Wong is back to watching This Is Us with Madisynn by his side. “Wongers have you ever had a tequila sunrise?” she asks him. And then Madisynn runs through a list of some fun-sounding drinks (Blue curaçao? Whatever it is, it’s blue), quizzing Wongers on if he’s had them or not. When Madisynn mentions just vodka straight, Wong explains that he once had vodka and yak milk.
“Do you have any of that here? I’d love to try some yak milk,” Madisynn asks.
As for Wongers’ favorite drink, that’s a gin and tonic. That’s when Madisynn makes him a promise, she doesn’t know if they do bottomless gin and tonic anywhere, but if they do, she’ll find it.
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